roseprickles

Lessons in Pain

Hurting someone deeply has got to be of the worst pains a person can endure. Worse than yourself being hurt by another. When you are hurt by another, the source of the pain is obvious. The one in which to hate and blame for your grief has been designated. Hurting someone else however, directs all grief back to yourself. There is no one else to blame. No one to despise but yourself. And of course, there's the guilt and shame that accompanies such pain.

In addition to this there is the problem with wanting to somehow rectify the mistakes made. The desire to help the person you have hurt. Watching someone who has been extremely close you to in pain is so disabling and frustrating. And when you are the cause of their pain it is that much more unbearable and heart wrenching. You want only to reach out and take them in your arms and pray that somehow it will make them feel better for even a few moments. But often what you must do is stay as far away as possible. Since even the sight of your face causes even more heartache. And to take them in your arms would only remind of what's been lost. Stay away and pray that time will do its job.

It should not happen this way. This is not the way things are supposed to be. But this is the was it is. And there is no going back. Even for a moment.

posted by rosey @ 9:33 PM